THE ENGINEER'S PHRASEBOOK

Like most people I get a lot of Email. And just like most people a lot of it is crap, however now and then I get something worth reading. As an engineer I write a lot of reports to my superiors, managers, finance directors etc.

So when I got an Email listing what engineers say compared to what they mean, I fount it a bit on the funny side; thought I’d share.


THE ENGINEER'S PHRASEBOOK

· MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - Back to the drawing board.

· DEVELOPED AFTER YEARS OF INTENSIVE RESEARCH - It was discovered by accident.

· PROJECT SLIGHTLY BEHIND ORIGINAL SCHEDULE DUE TO UNFORSEEN DIFFICULTIES - We are working on something else.

· THE DESIGNS ARE WELL WITHIN ALLOWABLE LIMITS - We just made it, stretching a point or two.

· CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS BELIEVED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule that the customer was happy to get anything at all from us.

· CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We should have asked someone else; or, let's spread the responsibility for this.

· THE DESIGN WILL BE FINALIZED IN THE NEXT REPORTING PERIOD - We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.

· A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.

· EXTENSIVE EFFORT IS BEING APPLIED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three new guys; we'll let them kick it around for a while.

· PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS ARE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

· THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only guy who understood the thing quit.

· MODIFICATIONS ARE UNDERWAY TO CORRECT CERTAIN MINOR DIFFICULTIES - We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.

· TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - It works, and boy; no ones more surprised than us!