Good Morning, Mr Ripper

The BBC is determind not to be judgemental. In the last couple of weeks alone the Today programme on Radio 4 has given a platform to a man so he could explain why he shouldn’t have been hounded out of his school job – after his coviction for indecently assulting a fifteen year old girl came to light.

It followed it up this week by allowing a former primary school headmaster to tell us why he should be free to resume his career despite serving a three month sentence for downloading child pornography.

I couldn’t help but wonder where they would draw the line.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Good morning. You’re listening to the Today programme on BBC Radio 4 with me, James Naughtie. All this fortnight we’re been looking at wheather sex offenders should be allowed to work as teachers. Today has learnt of another victim of the current witch hunt. Jack the Ripper has been suspended from his job as a biology teacher at the Osama Bin Laden Middle School, in Whitechapple, East London. Even though his appointment was approved by the education secretary, Ruth Kelly. It has been reviealed that Mr Ripper has been on the sex offenders register for the past 117 years after being linked to up to eighteen gruesome murders of young women in the East End. But Miss Kelly decided, on the recommendation of civil servents, that he no longer represented a threat. Mr Ripper joins me now in our studio. Good morning to you Mr Ripper.”

“Call me Jack Jim.”

“Very well, Jack. You were responsible for the savage killing of at least five women and suspected of murdering some thirteen more. Do you think that in itself should mark you out as someone unsuitable to teach in schools or not?”

“In my case Jim, I am suggesting it should not. I mean the girls were prostitues-”

“Let me interrunpt you there Jack. We don’t say ‘prostitues’ any more. We say ‘Sex workers.’”

“Sex workers, prostitues. Common whores, whatever. The point I’m making is that they were quite happy to sell their bodies.”

“But they had a right, did they not? To expect to conduct their busniess in saftey. Do you accept that in killing them and slicing them up your behaviour may be considered, in some quarters; as inappropriate?”

“No doubt there are some people who will say that Jim, But the point is, there was no evidence of a sexual relationship.”

“So you’re sayin that you should have never have been placed on the sex offenders register in the first place?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

“Interesting, and forgive me for pressing you on this this. Can you see, and I’m not passing judgement here, how some murdering and dismembering at least five sex workers. Who were, after all, victims of society and only forced into pros – er, the sexual services sector. Which is, er, why the government this week introduced new laws designed-”

“Is there a question in there somewhere Jim?”

“I do the interrupting on this programme Jack.”

“Fair enough Jim”

“What I was going to say was, don’t you think that at the very least there was an element of misjudgement on your part?”

“I fully accept that there was an error of judgement on my part, yes. But you have to understandthat it was all a very long time ago. I was depressed, I’d been working too hard and was under a lot of stress. That was a very different Jack the Ripper back then to the Jack the Ripper speaking to you today.”

“I take you point that you were depressed at the time. But don’t you agree that you, if this isn’t too harsh a word; transgressed?”

“Absolutely.”

“And if I understand you position, it is that this transgression occoured a very long time ago. And in fact you have not killed or dismembered anyone sinse 1888. And that therefore the school should accept that this was an isolated incedent and that it shouldn’t be held against you or bar you from working as a teacher?”

“A bit long winded, but yes; got it in one."

“On a wider issue Jack, the term ‘psychopath’ is banded about very loosely these days, and we must be careful not to cause offence to members of the psychopathic community. But would you agree that in your case the term ‘psychopath’ is – sorry, would have been appropiate?”

“Absolutely Jim. Psychopath yes, paedophile no. It’s not as if I was looking at dirty pictures or anything. We didn’t even have the internet back in 1888.”

“So you believe that the education secretary in your case was correct in allowing you, a self confessed psychopath; to work in schools?”

“Absolutely.”

"One final question Jack. What is your position on letting paedophiles back into the classroom?”

“Never Jim, those people disgust me. They shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near vulnerable kids. I’ll tell you what I would do. I would slice there –“

“Jack the Ripper, thank you very much. And coming up next, 'Thought for the day'. Today’s speaker is Gary Glitter.”