And this is just nuts.

Did you know its illegal to sell a grey squirrel?

No?

Didn’t think so, but this is just one of the many insane laws that have been passed in the last five years. At some point someone decided that this warranted enough attention to not only be considered; but to be passed as law.
Now it is possible that I’m wrong here, but isn’t there a war on somewhere out there? Isn’t there something slightly more important that politicians should be worrying about? Of course I could be wrong about that, Iraq could just possibly be over and no one bothered to tell me.

How did this ever get through? Last time I checked it took more than one person to decide what constitutes law of the land. Not just anybody or just one person can just makes changes on a whim.
Several senior people in the government must have had this passed before their eyes before it found its way onto the statuary books. Not only has the government clearly taken the time to promote this to top priority but they’ve spent our tax money doing it in the process.

Now, I have to be honest here. I wasn’t aware that there was a market for grey squirrels. Can you buy them on Ebay?
I’m sure now though, that this trade will be forced underground.

“Pssst, wanna buy some gear? I got weed, ecstasy, coke and squirrel.”

I’ve had people coming to my front door for years trying to sell me all sorts, Avon, Tupperware, double glazing, stone cladding, lucky heather.
But none of them have ever tried to sell me a squirrel, not even the builders who were working in the area; had a little too much tarmac and wondered if I’d like it put down on my driveway.

I’ve seen humane squirrel catchers, they claim to drive the rodents they catch out to the countryside and release them back into the wild. Personally I always thought that once round the corner, it would be a short, sharp blow and a dumping into the bin.
Clearly I was wrong, the squirrel catchers are straight down to the local butchers to sell their haul. Mr meat then does an under the counter job for anyone passing who fancies a change from a bit of steak.

“Yes madame, and what can I do for you today? Bit of squirrel then love? No problem, leg or breast?”

This is just one of the many insane laws that have been passed in recent years, I’ll mention some more at some point in the future.

But for now you may sleep safely in your bed tonight knowing that the war on squirrles has begun, tomorrow the world will be a safer place.

Unless of course that is that the squirrels fight back, they may not stand for it you know?
In fact they may just go nuts.